This month, we’re celebrating my friend, who has been a constant (pain in the ass) in my life since 2003. We met back in tech school while trying to navigate the mysterious world of computer networking and routing. Little did I know I was signing up for a lifetime of dealing with someone who can trip on a weed!
If there’s one thing you should know, it’s that he’s the poster child for “How Not to Navigate Life.” Seriously, this guy could trip over a wireless signal! He’s so clumsy that I’m convinced he has a secret talent for falling into potholes on the beach. Who needs a beach body when you can have a beach faceplant?
And don’t get me started on his bathroom escapades. He once got stuck in a bathroom because he couldn’t figure out how to open the door. If there were an Olympic event for getting trapped in restrooms, he’d take home the gold—while dropping his phone in the toilet! So if there are any fellas out there looking for someone who can fix their computer but also be a companion, Gay is your guy, He can also assist in other things, but don’t let him hold camera equipment otherwise, you may find it not in your trunk where you thought it was and somewhere on the beach for anyone to find.
As for photos, he hasn’t taken a decent one since the days of AOL. I’m pretty sure his last good photo was taken with a flip phone. It’s like he’s living in a time warp where Instagram doesn’t exist.
His obsessive-compulsive tendencies are both a blessing and a curse. He’ll spend hours organizing his desk, only to knock over a cup of coffee right after. It’s like watching a live-action cartoon!
So, here’s to my wonderfully ditzy, clumsy, and hilariously OCD friend! May your born day be filled with laughter and fewer potholes. Just remember, if you find yourself stuck in a bathroom again, I’ll be there to rescue you—after I take videos and pics of course.
